tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233128592011-04-21T12:34:59.600-07:00Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06082137750980415453noreply@blogger.comBlogger11100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23312859.post-1141338226688104152006-03-02T14:23:00.000-08:002006-03-02T14:23:46.700-08:00"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." <br />Rodney Dangerfield. <br />"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is." <br />Ellen DeGeners. <br /><br />"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac." <br />George Carlin. <br /><br />"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?"<br />Paul Merton. <br /><br />"There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that." <br />Steve Martin. <br /><br />"I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own." <br />Les Dawson. <br /><br />"The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney..." <br />Steven Wright (...more Steven Wright Quotes).<br /><br />"First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down." <br />George Burns. <br /><br />"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with." <br />Marty Feldman. <br /><br />"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture." <br />Robin Williams.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/23312859-114133822668810415?l=quotesfunny.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Ryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06082137750980415453noreply@blogger.com0